I feel like the most loved wife on the planet. My husband constantly surprises me with his thoughtfulness, love and attention.
One day I asked him why he loved me so much and his answer was not what I expected. I have to admit I was fishing for compliments. You can’t blame a girl for trying eh? I thought perhaps he might say I am kind, thoughtful, even-tempered, pretty, etc, but he said, “Because I decided to”. Well you should have seen the look on my face. Not what I expected to hear and I certainly didn’t think it was very romantic until I took the time to think a little more about what he had said. My husband had decided to focus on all of my positive qualitities and to appreciate the good things I did each and every day. I didn’t fully understand this till I read this story by Darren Hardy the Publisher and Editorial Director of Success Magazine.
The story begins with Darren telling the readers how good we are finger pointing and blaming others for our own shortcomings. He then goes on to say that we are particularly gifted at this when it comes to our romantic relationships. Daren then tells us about a friend who is complaining about his wife, so Darren decided to share an experience with his friend that changed his own marriage.
Darren decided one thanksgiving to keep a journal and write down one thing every day that he appreciated about his wife- The way she prepared a fabulous meal, the kindness she displayed with friends and so on…
He did this for year and then gave his wife the journal as a gift.
She cried and said it was the best gift she had ever received. What happened to Darren is that he started to see his wife in a different light and he started to show up differently in his marriage, which of course made his wife respond differently to him. He then goes on to say that he has had one of the best years of his marriage and it has only gotten better since. His friend gave this a try and after only a few months of choosing to focus on his wife’s positive qualities it changed his view of her and it changed the way he interacted with her and it changed how she responded to him. The cycle perpetuated and it completely turned his marriage around. It is the small choices we make every day that make the difference in our lives. To me Wellness is about all the small choices we make every day that perpetuates growth. For 2011 make your choices work for you.